Goats and Fuzzy Slippers

When it comes to love, I'm a bit cynical and jaded (my past experiences have left me wondering if its worth the effort). And when it comes to romance, I'm clueless. I don't do lingerie; I do fuzzy slippers and flannel... life on a farm doesn't require much lacy stuff, but a good pair of slippers (the kind you can go out to the wood pile in) and flannel PJ's come in handy on cold winter nights. My idea of a romantic date is a hike in the woods or running fence. And my idea of sexy is a strong guy in Carhardt's. I know what you're thinking... I'm hopeless, I should be happy having two dogs to cuddle with cuz it ain't gonna get any better than that. You're probably right.

So when a guy friend came to visit recently, I was lectured by girl friends on the importance of hotty wear, sexy shoes, etc. Shit, I was doomed. A guy pal stressed the importance of clean breath and a sense of humor (OK Bart, this I have down). Really, I don't have it in me to be anything but myself, take it or leave it.

The weekend was lovely... dinner out, long hikes, cooking together, etc. But my goats were in desperate need of a little maintenance (hoof trimming and shots) and its nice to have an extra body to help. Its not a horrible chore, but it isn't pretty either. The goats behaved themselves for the most part, but as I was sitting in the mud giving Blanche her pedicure she tried to deposit a few turds on my head. Men, when the woman you're considering dating is sitting in the mud with goat shit in her hair its your chance to run, no questions asked. The guy didn't run, he may even come back.

Open your mind, open your heart, open your arms, take it all in.

- Kobi Yamada